Naze, Koi?
by Saphira112
Summary: Shuichi catches Yuki cheating on him with Touma and Shuichi runs off. Shuichi seeks comfort, but whom does he find it in and can he get past this? Shuichi/Yuki, Yuki/Touma, eventual Shuichi/Ryuichi
1. Raining Sorrow

**A/N: Ok, I know people are probably a bit pissed at me for discontinuing **_**Kitty Tsuzuki**_** and I told you! I'm sorry! But I can't write that anymore. In fact, just after I said I was discontinuing it, I got this story idea. I don't know if anyone else put up something like this and I don't care. I'm writing whatever right now and dedicating to my friend Ed. Thanks for your help Ed! Hope to see your Gundam Wing crack-fic up soon!**

**Saphira Nakare Ruakara**

**Note:** "Naze" is Japanese for "Why" and "Koi" is Japanese for "Love" or "Lover". The title of this in English is "Why, Love?", but suited better to be in Japanese. It's meant to be used by asking someone who they love the reason why they would do something harsh.

**Summary:** Shuichi catches Yuki cheating on him with Touma and Shuuchi runs off, intent on getting away as far as possible. After a near0-death accident, Shuichi seeks comfort in the friend that saved him. But can he truly get past this ordeal?

**Pairings:** Shuichi/Yuki, Yuki/Touma, Shuichi/Ryuichi

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai/yaoi, language/swearing, references to alcohol

Recommended listening: _Lullaby _by **Assemblage 23**

Naze, Koi?

Chapter One – Raining Sorrow

Water splashed up around him as his feet sank through puddles that flowed quickly down the sidewalk, rushing down for a few blocks until slipping swiftly into gutters under the sidewalk. A streak of jagged fire lit up the sky and loud drum sounded overhead as the sky wept its infinite, torn emotions. Each drop that feel carried within it an emotion that wasn't unlike what Shuichi was feeling as the teenager ran across the street, not caring if the car that nearly hit him honked, not caring that he pushed people out of the way. Tears were falling down his stunned face, his purple eyes still gleaming with the numbing shock and his wet hair whipping around his face, sticking to his cheeks.

He had been running for god only knows how long, dodging any person he saw ahead of him, running down block after block. His legs yelled in protest every now and then, but the young singer didn't stop. He had to get as far away as possible. He didn't care if he ran to the other side of the world.

If only to get away...

Shuichi let out a small gasp of surprise, knocked out of his muddled thoughts, as his footing was lost beneath him, sending him sprawling across the pavement. Shuichi cried out instinctively as the concrete scrapped his knees, but it caught in his throat, the outcome being a small whine. He struggled to get up, trying to regain his footing, his arms shaking in silent protest.

Shuichi finally gave up his running and huddled in the alleyway nearby, the wind blocked by the building he leaned on with his sore back. His knees were throbbing with the pain inflicted by the sidewalk and the running, but Shuuichi didn't notice. He didn't notice or he didn't care. All he could think about was what he had seen.

"_Tadaima, Yuki!"_

_He got no response, as per usual. Shuichi still smiled as he closed the door behind him and kicked off his shoes. Today had been great, one of his best days yet. He had gone into the studio and sung his best, better than in the concerts with Sakuma-san at his side. Moreover, Hiro's guitar skills seemed to have improved, although Shuichi always thought Hiro was the best and didn't need improvement. Hiro's response was a chuckle as he said, "There's always room for improvement." Sakano-san and their manager, K, had praised his performance with more realistic enthusiasm this time. Shuichi couldn't wait to tell Yuki!_

_Shuichi bounced down the hall, his impish grin playing across his lips. He peeked into Yuki's study, his eyes wide in happiness, but his grin faded as he saw that he hadn't found Yuki in his study as expected. Confused, Shuichi walked all the way down the hall, looking across the open room with the simple couch and high definition T.V., purple eyes looking left and right._

"_Yuki?"_

_Shuichi checked the other few rooms before he headed back down the hall towards the bedroom. "He must be sleeping..." Although it seemed weird for Yuki to turn in early, especially this early; it was only 8:30 p.m. Shuichi heard a small groan from the bedroom and he frowned. "Maybe he's having another nightmare relapse thing..."_

_Shuichi grasped the handle of the door, shivering at the sudden feel of cold on his skin. Something didn't feel right. Turning the knob, Shuichi slowly opened the door and peered inside. Is voice was hushed and quiet, afraid of disturbing Yuki if he really was asleep. "Yuki?"_

_That was when his heart stopped. His hand feel from the doorknob and his purple eyes widened, already gleaming with the mixed emotions that flooded into his bloodstream out of nowhere. Shock, confusion, sadness, pain, disbelief... His body was frozen on the hardwood floor, just staring at the scene unfolded in front of him._

_The piercing golden eyes that were gazing down on another pair fondly finally looked up to meet his. Light amethyst eyes widened and the singer felt as if he could not breathe. The cold golden eyes seemed to release him from his invisible frozen cage and he felt his body turn. His heel caught the wood floor and before he knew it, he was running out without even making a grab for his shoes. He didn't care where he was going. He just had to get away..._

Shuichi suppressed a small sob as the cold rain beat upon his aching body. He felt as if he wasn't far enough. He could never be far enough from the truth. It hurt. It truly did hurt him. To know that those golden eyes would never look at him with the love he had given to another, to know that when he sees the man, he will be brushed off as just another fan... to know he wouldn't be the receiver of Yuki's love.

Shuichi found the strength in him to get up, shaking his head to try to erase the cruel truth from his mind, but they didn't leave. His legs began to move and he felt himself running again, but to where, no one knew. Not even Shuichi.

The rain had picked up and was falling faster, making the sidewalk more slippery than before. The edges of sidewalks had small rivers flowing downhill towards the gutters. The few people that were out had umbrellas and didn't seem to notice the young teenager running past them.

Shuichi felt his soaked foot slide on his next step, causing his body to lurch forward...

...Straight into the oncoming car traffic.

Shuichi's purple eyes widened and for a moment, he didn't feel quite as afraid of the truth. It didn't lessen the pain. Everything was in slow motion. He couldn't see; all he could do was hear. He heard the car horn as the automobile came closer to his falling form, soaked to the bone with tears that were both his and not his own. He heard a few people gasp and shout for someone to help. He heard water kick up from the ground as the car tried to swerve. And for a second, Shuichi thought he heard someone call his name.

Shuichi expected many things to happen then. But something he didn't expect was something hitting his body, pushing hard against him to shove him out of the way or something. It wasn't the cold hard metal Shuichi had been expecting to hit him. It was warmer. And what was pushing him out of the way was a pair of what felt like hands, connected to arms; arms that held something in them. Something soft.

Shuichi let out a small cry as his back hit the road pavement, his already-aching muscles screaming as they were further injured. The teenager bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as he slipped across the wet road, away from the car that he heard speed by. Shuichi cringed as something cracked and a small pain ran up his arm from his wrist. He blearily opened his eyes to see what had hit him, or rather, what had just saved him.

It was hard to see at first; the rain and tears had clouded his vision in the whole time he had been running and looking up at the sky where the rain continued to fall didn't help him.

"Oi, Shuichi..."

The voice sounded so familiar. He knew he had heard it before, so many times. It was soft, melodic and strangely calming. But where had he heard it?

"Shuichi!"

Shuichi blinked a few times before his vision sharpened. Wild brown hair became clearer and deep blue eyes with a deep, piercing look, but soft, worried edge to them gazed down at his face, searching for something right. Around the person's forehead was a red headband that tied at the back. Shuuichi recognized that anywhere, even though his clouded sorrow.

"S-Sakuma-san?"

The piercing look vanished, replaced by relief and the person above Shuichi sighed in the said emotion. Shuichi blinked a few times before his mind registered what was going on. Ryuichi had just saved him from the oncoming car and now, he was on the safer side of the street nearer to the sidewalk where he had slipped. When had he slipped? It felt like an eternity ago.

Shuichi bit his lip to repress a small cry as he tried to sit up, using his bad wrist as support and only ended up falling back. He expected the pavement, but the same arms that had saved him caught him easily, propping him back up. The cheeriness that was always on Ryuichi's face was, for the most part, gone as he gazed over Shuuichi. The idol singer then took Shuichi's good hand and gave a slight tug. "Come on, Shuuichi. Let's get out of the rain. We're getting soaked and Kumaguro doesn't like being all wet!"

There was that cheeriness again. Shuichi couldn't protest and he nodded and tried to get to his feet. With Ryuichi's help, he found it easy to get up on his aching knees. He then felt his good hand being brought around Ryuichi's shoulder and his senior just gave him a smile and began to walk. Shuichi found it easier to walk beside the other teenager and found himself asking questions along the way when it really should have been the other way around.

"What were you doing out here, Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi gave him his trademark grin. "It's Ryuichi-chan! And Kuma-chan wanted to go get some ice-cream. And then we saw you. Kumaguro told me to follow in case something bad happened! Cause it's so wet out..."

He had followed? How far? How long? Why? Shuichi winced as someone bumped into him and hit his injured wrist. Ryuichi's cheery expression vanished as Shuichi turned away, not wanting him to see the frown that played across the Bad Luck singer's face.

"You ran far, Shu-chan! But if you're not careful, you'll catch cold!" Ryuichi exclaimed, trying to liven Shuichi's mood as he led his friend towards an apartment complex. "Wearing this!" He gestured to Shuichi's tank top. The smile faded as Shuichi didn't look his way to return the smile, not even a glance to show he had heard the singer that was being his crutch. This made Ryuichi worry. Shuichi was like him, happy and voicing emotions all around, but now... now he felt limp, his eyes were filled with sadness; his hair no longer had that natural lift to it and instead stuck to his face.

Ryuichi turned his gaze from his broken-looking friend when they reached an apartment that was in fair size, but slightly bigger than the others around it were. Not made for cheap people, but not something rich people could brag about either. Ryuichi let Shuichi stand on his own while he fumbled in his pockets for his keys. He looked through his coat first, checking and re-checking the pockets twice before he put his hands in his pant's pocket and felt a crooked metal object. "Found em!"

Ryuichi pulled out a string of keys, jumbling with two identical silver ones and two other gold ones, mumbling something about having too many shiny things before he found the right key; a small copper one with a sticker on the base. He placed it in the lock and opened the door. "Come on, Shuichi! It's warm in here!"

Shuichi, who had been glancing out at the rain, startled at the exclamation and hesitantly stepped inside the door. Ryuichi closed it behind him and went to a small linen closet next to the main entrance, pulling down a white fluffy towel. He walked back to Shuichi and began to dry him off. Shuichi made no noise as his senior wiped away the cold rainwater. It wasn't until Ryuichi took his injured wrist in a gentle hold did Shuichi shiver and cringe at the same time. He hadn't noticed how cold he had been. That was one of the bad tings about shock. You're hardly aware of your surroundings and if you run, you don' know where you're going, how long you were running or what the temperature was like while you were running.

"You hurt your wrist, Shuichi," Ryuichi murmured, loud enough for Shuichi to hear and enough to snap him out of his reverie for the third time that day. Or rather, for the third time that night. Ryuichi was looking at his limp wrist with a childish look on his face, as if he had never seen it before, but there was something about his eyes... eyes that said that they knew more than what was being displayed. Shuichi felt himself being led to a couch in the small spacious room. The design was similar to Yuki's apartment, but the layout of things was different.

Instead of just a couch and a T.V., there was a large bookcase in the corner next to the sliding window screens that led to a deck, which was getting noticeably soaked, a bedroom connected to a twin bathroom and a small study, which looked as if it had hardly been used, considering the neat desk. But there was a wastebasket in there that was overflowing with crumpled papers, probably song lyrics that Ryuichi had started and not liked in the end and had thrown them away. Shuichi himself had done the same thing many times and driven Yuki nuts.

'_Yuki...'_

Shuichi felt a dip in the seat next to him and turned to see whom it was. Of course, it was Ryuichi, who had a small medical kit. The singer was taking out a roll of sprain fabric, wrapping it around Shuichi's wrist carefully, but pulling it tight enough so that if the pink-haired teen moved his wrist, it wouldn't move too much, strain the muscles, and hurt him. Shuichi watched, fascinated. He never knew Ryuichi was good with these kinds of things.

"There!" Ryuichi sat back, grinning at his work before he picked up Kumaguro, fiddled with the pink rabbit, waving the arms, raising his voice to pretend to be Kumaguro, then went back to his own, and he was talking to himself that way while Shuichi looked over the wrapping.

"Sakuma-san?"

"Hmm?" Ryuichi looked up, his childish antics packed away for now.

Shuichi looked away, towards the sliding glass door, where the rain continued to fall hard, if not harder than when Shuichi first had gone home. Home. Was that place truly home? The place where he had thought Yuki loved him? The place where he had seen Yuki with another person and merely sent a glare for interrupting?

"Are you ever... lonely?"

Ryuichi tilted his head. "Why is Shu-chan asking me that? You sound so depressed, Shuichi!" With that sentence came a laugh that a little forced.

Ryuichi noticed Shuichi's downcast eyes and his laughter died down. Ryuichi's eyes narrowed and his stage eyes tried to catch Shuichi's light amethyst ones. It was then that he spoke again and he wasn't playing games or distant like he was when he was engrossed in his songs on stage. This was a different stage Ryuichi. A more serious side.

"Yeah. Sometimes," the Nittle Grasper singer admitted, one hand absentmindedly fiddling with one of Kumaguro's stuffed arms.

Shuichi looked up in surprise, looking straight into the blue eyes of his idol and he would have flinched otherwise at the deep look they held within them had the situation been not so serious. Shuichi felt the need to look away and he opted for glancing out the widow again.

"Shuichi?"

Said singer felt a hand on his shoulder and it made him force himself to face Ryuichi. Shuichi could not keep the sadness reflecting in his lilac eyes. "Nani?"

"Does Yuki hurt you?"

There was no happy hyperactive Ryuichi. There was no innocent childish Ryuichi. Shuichi was seeing the side of Ryuichi that the singer kept in reserve for the stage or in serious life-death situations. It felt weird to see it, but strangely comforting. It took a moment for Shuichi to register the actual question and he pulled up a nervous smile, waving his hands. "N-no! He... he doesn't! He's just busy with stuff and—"

"Shuichi," Ryuichi cut him off, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "You're lying to me."

Shuichi's hands came down and the smile slipped off his face. He should've known he couldn't fool Sakuma Ryuichi. The man may act like a child some of the time and only reserve his maturity for the stage, but one thing he always had with him was the ability to tell when something was bothering someone or see through lies. A somewhat empathic ability that made him stand out.

Shuichi tilted his head slightly, avoiding the piercing blue gaze. "He... does... he pushes me away and acts cold all the time... But he's loosened up a little. I'd thought I could help him."

"Shuichi... what happened?"

Ryuichi had always been straight to the point, whether he acted as if he had a mental problem or had his stage attitude set. Shuichi suddenly found it easy to talk to Ryuichi, much easier than when he tried to talk to Yuki. Ryuichi didn't brush him off and tell him to drop it. The blue eyes, while carrying that same piercing look that Yuki's golden eyes did, reflected all the worry and concern that Shuichi had not asked for, but was given anyway. Ryuichi seemed to forgiving while Yuki was just as his name suggested. Snow.

Snow was cold. Snow was ice and ice was cold. Everything about snow was cold. Once you touched it with warmth, it melted away. Surely, that was what Shuichi had been hoping for? His warmth to melt Yuki's ice? But that didn't happen. Now it never would, would it?

"Yuki cheated on me."

Those words came out easier than Shuichi had expected and once they did, the piercing blue eyes became a little softer, now that the owner of the captivating eyes knew what had made his friend so upset. "Sou ka... gomen nasai, Shuichi."

The brown-haired teenager placed his hands on Shuichi's shoulders in a comforting gesture. Shuichi bit his lip to keep his sobs in check, although the tears were harder for him to hold back. "I just... I thought I could help... I thought he loved me... I..."

And that's when it happened. Shuichi Shindo, leader singer of Bad Luck, friend to Nittle Grasper's Sakuma Ryuichi, broke down into true, anguished sobs. He wasn't crying like he pretended to when he didn't get to do something he wanted to, no; these were true and were full of pent-up emotion that he felt he had been keeping inside him forever. Perhaps he had and been too blind to notice it through his obsession with the blonde author.

Shuichi hardly registered the arms going around his shoulders and bringing him to lean against something warm, something that had a hidden beat inside of it. He gripped the cloth his hand felt and cried, his eyes shut tightly and his body racked with sobs that he had thought had gone out of him when he had run.

Ryuichi put his chin on top of Shuichi's head, blue eyes looking out at the rain as he held his crying friend, one hand stroking the pink-dyed locks and the other wrapped around Shuichi's shoulders, keeping him still. Ryuichi was careful of the vocalist's injured wrist as well, making sure that he didn't press it too hard. Kumaguro lay on the couch behind Ryuichi, somewhat forgotten by the singer.

Ryuichi wasn't sure what to think. _'Shu-chan's sad because Yuki didn't love him... Yuki was unfaithful to Shu-chan; even after all he's done...'_ Ryuichi felt bad. Really bad. He felt as if he shouldn't be split into feeling delighted and sad at the same time. On one hand, he was glad that Shuuichi had gotten away from Yuki if he was going to be mean and hurt Shuichi like this, but on the other hand, Shuichi's only place to return to was his parents' house and that was too far for him to go in to work and back home on a daily basis. Therefore, if he wanted to continue singing, he needed a place to stay. Which he didn't have.

Ryuichi titled his head slightly, glancing down to Shuichi's tear-streaked face. The teenager had cried himself to sleep. A hiccup every now and then was the response to Ryuichi's unspoken questions on the vocalist in his arm. Shifting slightly, the brunette singer picked up the sleeping Shuichi, supporting him against him. For someone who was his same size, he sure wasn't heavy. Not that Ryuichi was heavy, but Shuichi felt lighter than he had expected.

He slowly carried Shuichi into the bedroom he normally occupied. This was the only room he had re-designed to suit him and make it feel more homey. The walls were painted a rather soft blue, matching to Ryuichi's eyes, as Noriko had often told him. The bed was up against the wall and at the foot was another small bookcase, completely filled with videos and some books, most—if not, all—of which were manga books. The dresser was next to the bookcase and on it was a silver stereo with two large speakers. The nightstand next to the bed had a lamp and a large notepad on it that doubled as a sketchpad. There were posted in the room, some of which were his own image with the rest of Nittle Grasper, Seguchi Touma and Ukai Noriko, but some were Bad Luck posters as well, with Shuichi smiling into the room. The other few posters in the room included Gackt—Ryuichi had loved them since his singing career started—and L'Arc-en-ciel, which had influenced the emotional feel of a few of Ryuichi's earlier songs. There were spots of pink in the room, when you looked at it just right, so Kumaguro could feel at home, too.

Ryuichi laid Shuichi down on the bed that had light blue sheets with a few black designs here and there. Ryuichi brought the covers up to Bad Luck's vocalist's chin before his free hand went up to run itself through the dyed hair. It felt soft, softer than he had imagined or had seen it. Ryuichi could see that the actual roots at the top of Shuichi's head were a reddish-brown color. He would need to dye his hair again soon, but that was a small priority.

Ryu felt as if something was missing as he looked down at Shuichi. Then it hit him. He brought up a small goofy smile before he ran down the hall again, back to the couch. He picked up the neglected Kumaguro. On the walk back down the hall, Ryuichi whispered to Kumaguro, "Shu-chan is sad and we can keep him company. You'll make him feel better, won't you Kuma-chan?"

Ryuichi's hand instinctively made the bunny nod and the vocalist re-entered the room. He padded over quietly to the bed and took a gentle hold on Shuichi's injured hand. He placed Kumaguro in Shuichi's hand, placing it back down on the soft mattress before bringing Shuichi's other hand over and placing it on top of Kumaguro.

"Oyasumi, Shuichi," Ryuichi whispered, more heartrending than he meant it to be. He brought two fingers to his lips before placing those fingers on top of Shuichi's forehead. Ryuichi walked to the door, flicking off the light before giving a glance back at the sleeping teenager.

"Don't worry, Shu-chan. I won't let him hurt you again."

And with that vowed promise, Ryuichi closed the door.

* * *

_Dictionary:_

Sou ka - I See

Gomen Nasai -I'm Very Sorry/Please Forgive Me

Oyasumi - Night (the formal "good night" is "oyasumi nasai")

**A/N:** Ok, that was pretty long for a first chappie, so I'm gonna stop it there. Chappie two will be up soon. Feedback is appreciated! Arigatou and ja ne for now!

Saphira Nakare Ruakara


	2. Echoing Sadness

**A/N:** Here's the second chappie. TIS SHORT! SORRY! I hope I didn't make anything OOC. It feels like I did.

**Note:** "Naze" is Japanese for "Why" and "Koi" is Japanese for "Love" or "Lover". The title of this in English is "Why, Love", but suited better to be in Japanese.

**Summary:** Shuichi catches Yuki cheating on him with Touma and Shuichi runs off. Shuichi seeks comfort, but whom does he find it in and can he get past this?

**Pairings:** Shuichi/Yuki, Yuki/Touma, Shuichi/Ryuichi and Suguru/Hiro

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai/yaoi, language/swearing, references to alcohol

Recommended listening: _Silence _sung by **Delerium and Sarah McLachlan**

Naze, Koi? 

Chapter Two – Echoing Sadness 

Bright rays of sunlight began to fight at the folds to the drawn blinds that kept the room in still-gray darkness. A few streaks peeked through, streaming across the ceiling and slowly descending down against the soft, blue-painted walls. Off in the distance, there was a small chirp, signaling that it was indeed morning. The chirp faded as the source moved in the opposite direction of the quiet room.

Soft amethyst eyes opened blearily, unfocused as they raked across the wall they faced. After a few blinks, the vision sharpened and the owner of the soft eyes began to wonder where he was. The blue walls didn't look familiar. Nor did he remember having a Gackt poster facing his bed. Or have a small plushie he was currently holding close to him.

Shuichi's eyes widened and he sat up abruptly; unfortunately, that caused a splitting headache to form between his eyes and his wrist to throb in protest. Shuichi raised his good hand to his head, willing the headache to leave him in peace. After a moment, when the pulsing throb had died down, Shuichi looked down to see what he was holding. It was a pink bunny, but not just any pink bunny. It was Sakuma Ryuichi's Kumaguro plushie.

"Kokua doku?" the singer whispered to himself, looking around the room. He couldn't remembered how he had gotten to where he was now. He remembered Ryuichi finding him in the rain and saving him from that car when he had slipped. He remembered being led to Ryuichi's apartment and having his wrist bandaged. He remembered... he remembered crying.

He also remembered the embrace. Ryuichi hadn't told him to stop crying like he had when Shuichi had disapproved of Suguru Fujisaki when the teen had come to join the band. Ryuichi had held him in an attempt to cease his crying, to comfort him, as friends always did. And then...

Shuichi felt his face heat up with embarrassment. No way. There was no way. Ryuichi had carried him to bed, but not just _any_ bed. It was the same bed Ryuichi slept in. Shuichi could tell with the tiny pink spots on it that were tiny Kumaguro prints in the light blue sheets.

_'I slept in Ryuichi's bed... the bed of Sakuma Ryuichi... oh my God...' _

Shuichi tried to brush off the thought that made his face burn and looked around. He hadn't known what to expect to see Ryuichi's room, so the Gackt posters next to posters of Bad Luck and L'Arc-En-Ciel were greatly unexpected, but somehow inspiring.

Shuichi glanced to the nightstand clock. It read 10:47 a.m. He had to be at the studio at 8:30 a.m., so... He suddenly jumped up, eyes wide. "Crap, I'm late!" _'K-san is going to kill me!' _

Without realizing he was still carrying Kumaguro, he ran to the bedroom door, his bare feet almost slipping on the polished wooden floor. Before he could open it, it suddenly opened for him and Shuichi almost bumped into the person on the other side of the door.

"Shu-chan! Why are you rushing? You could hurt yourself!"

Shuichi looked up, straight into Ryuichi's carefree blue eyes while the other sing smiled at him, giggling slightly. There was underlying concern, but it was covered up by the playfulness as Ryuichi motioned to the bed. "Was it comfortable?" he asked, the small smile still in place.

Shuichi felt himself blushing at the question had diverted his gaze, hoping Ryuichi would see him blush so much. "Hai. Arigatou gozaimus, Sakuma-san."

"It's Ryuichi-chan! _Chan_!" The singer exclaimed in response, emphasizing 'chan' to prove his point as he threw an arm around Shuichi's shoulders in the form of half hug. Shuichi turned his head the other way, unconsciously gripping the plushie in his arms before he realized what he was doing.

"Oh, Sa—Ryuichi... I should give this back to you," Shuichi said quietly, holding out Kumaguro with his uninjured hand. Ryuichi tilted his head slightly, as if wondering why Shuichi was doing such a thing before he slowly took Kumaguro from the singer's hands. "I let Kuma-chan stay with you to keep you company! I had to go to the studio and explain a few things to Noriko and—"

"The studio! I'm sorry, Sakuma-san, I have to go! K's gonna kill me!" Shuichi headed towards the door before something caught his free hand. The purple-eyed teen whirled around to face who had stopped him and found himself once again staring into Ryuichi's deep blue eyes. How deep were they? Cobalt? No, lighter than that. Sapphire? No, darker...

Ryuichi held Shuichi's hand in a firm, but gentle grip as he looked at his junior, trying to figure out something. His eyes were searching, searching for something he intended to find, but couldn't delve deeper into the twined purple orbs in front of him, as if something was keeping him out. Shuichi shifted slightly under the gaze. Ryuichi blinked before he tilted his head again.

"Shuichi, I already called and told them you weren't well," Ryuichi finally said, blinking a few more times. "Shuichi needs to be all better before he can sing again and be shiny! Kuma-chan agrees, too!"

Shuichi's lips parted for a moment before he clamped his mouth shut tight again. Ryuichi had called in sick for him. Ryuichi was looking out for him too much. It didn't really feel... right. "Gomen ne, Ryuichi-san I have to go. I promised Hiro..."

Ryuichi let out a small sigh. _'If that's what he wants...' _"Tis chan, Shuichi! _Chan_! And lemme get you some clothes! You can go in that!" He smiled, gesturing to the wrinkled tank top and shorts. Before Shuichi could protest, Ryuichi had disappeared back into the bedroom, holding Kumaguro in his arms. A second later, he came back out with a stack of clothes and he eagerly put them into Shuichi's hands. "Wear this at least." At Shuichi's hesitant look, Ryuichi pulled out his puppy eyes and nipped the top of Kumaguro's head in a cute, childish way. "Pwease, Shu-chan?" Tiny beads of comical tears began to run down his face.

Shuichi forced a smile on his face. "O-okay, Ryuichi..."

The comical tears vanished and Ryuichi perked up with a large grin. "Yay! Shu-chan's gonna be my shiny double! Isn't that great, Kumaguro? Shu-chan's gonna be shiny!" Ryuichi did a small spin with the pink bunny in his arms, grinning like a child.

Shuichi watched this for a moment before he headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. As soon as he did, Ryuichi stopped spinning and glanced to the direction of the bathroom. The smile slipped off his face and his shoulders slumped. He gazed down to the plushie in his hands, his eyes changing from their innocent chibi look to the serious stage eyes. But not the concentrated, thinking stage eyes. The sad stage eyes no one had ever seen before.

Ryuichi frowned and he clutched Kumaguro tightly. "I'm an idiot, aren't I, Kumaguro?" The singer got no response, as per usual, and he walked to the front door, waiting for Shuichi to emerge. "I'm such an idiot..."

Shuichi, meanwhile, was staring at the clothes Ryuichi had given him in fascination. The jeans were low-rise, black leather with three silver chains going down the right pant leg. The shirt was a tight purple and green tank top that covered his front, but exposed a good portion of his back once slipped on. Shuichi stared at the clothing for a moment before he shrugged and stripped down, thrown off his clothing, which, he now started to realize, had begun to smell. Shuichi felt his face grow a little hot at the realization. No wonder Ryuichi had suggested he change...

Clothing adorned, Shuichi looked in the mirror. The clothing was the only clean thing about him, really. His hair was a matted mess and was sticking out at a few ends from sleeping on it wet, his face was a little dirty with he had hit the pavement after the car incident, and his eyes were watery and slightly red.

_'I must've cried in my sleep,'_ he thought as he turned on the tap for the sink, splashing his face a few times. The cold water on his heated face felt refreshing and helped him wake up a little more. He reached for a towel on the sidebar and wiped his face, taking another look in the mirror. The dirt was gone and his eyes looked a little fuller, if not still a little saddened.

Shuichi let out a soft sigh before running his hands through his tangled, matted hair. He winced at the tangles and shrugged. No one at work really paid attention to his hair, anyway. Casting the mirror one more look, Shuichi left the bathroom, the chains on the pant leg jangling.

He barely had time to turn around to look for Ryuichi when the said singer tackled him from behind, his arms folded across his chest and Ryuichi giving him a big hug. "Ah! Shu-chan, you're so shiny!"

Shuichi laughed a little nervously and took a few minutes to pry Ryuichi off him. The elder vocalist gave him a sheepish grin before pointing to the door. "Let's go!"

Shuichi blinked before he returned the grin with a small smile. "Aa."

The walk to the studio wasn't too far from where Ryuichi's apartment was and they both got there in twenty minutes. The walk had been a little quiet, except for Ryuichi sometimes popping up with random questions about ice cream flavors or what song they were going to sing today or if either of them had come up with song lyrics. When they arrived, Ryuichi turned to face his junior. "Daijoubu, Shuichi?"

Shuichi, who had almost lost his thoughts on the way there, glanced at Ryuichi with a smile. "Yeah, I'm all right. I'm already over it."

Ryuichi pouted, but then smiled as Touma and Noriko walked out. "Touma! Nori-chan!"

"Ryuichi?" Touma raised an eyebrow. Didn't the singer already call in? Shuichi couldn't look at Touma after what he had seen last night. And now that he knew that it was _Touma _who Yuki loved, it now made sense why some days Touma seemed a little tired or stressed.

"Ryu-chan, I thought you said you weren't coming in today," Noriko recalled, tapping her chin with an elegant finger, nail painted a light purple to match her dyed hair.

"Shuichi said he wanted to come in, so I came with him to keep him company," Ryuichi said, already giving an excuse to be there with them. He winked at Shuichi out of the corner of his eye. "And Kumaguro wanted to come, too!" The singer held up the pink bunny he had been holding to prove his point.

Noriko put up her hands in mock defeat, a small smile lit on her face before she turned to Shuichi. "So how are you? Gotten over your sickness already?"

Shuichi turned a little red in the face, remembering that Ryuichi had called in sick for him and he nodded. "H-hai... I'm good as new! As if a sickness can hold me down!" He pulled up a smile with a laugh in hopes of diverting her. It looked as if it had worked, as she turned back to talking to Ryuichi, but her eyes told a different story. She was suspicious of something. Shuichi could tell.

"Shuichi!"

The singer turned as his name was called and Hiro came out of the building, eyes holding surprise while his long red hair, tied back into a low ponytail, swished behind him. "I thought you called in sick."

Shuichi laughed nervously, putting a hand behind his head. "Nah, I can't be held down by a sickness! I'm totally over it!" _'Not like I had it in the first place...'_ But Shuichi wasn't going to tell Hiro that.

Hiro's eyes had the same look Noriko's did. Shuichi wasn't sure if the two believed him or not. Ryuichi certainly didn't, as he had known what happened, Touma probably had a clue so he didn't believe his act either, but Suguru (who wasn't present now) was probably the only one totally oblivious, but Hiro would probably change that eventually.

"Well, do you want to go rehearse?" Hiro asked.

Shuichi nodded as enthusiastically as he could. Inside, he felt dead.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that took longer than I thought. Stupid AP classes... ANYWAY! Hope this was worth the wait and thanks for your reviews! Arigatou and ja ne for now! **

**Saphira Nakare Ruakara**


	3. Mini Confrontation

**A/N:** Here's the third chappie. Sorry it took forever. My AP Euro Exam is TOMORROW and Finals are the week after next... ugh. I'm so screwed for tomorrow's exam... four frikking hours of being locked in a test room with three essays and a multiple choice test... Someone pray for me... really...

Please note that this chapter was written completely on a whim, randomly, and is not revised or edited. So if you see something, feel free to point it out. Just don't be a bitch about it. Seriously. And this chapter is short. Only three and a half pages in Word Document, so I'm not proud of this chapter in the slightest.

**Recommended listening:** _Sleepless Beauty Sweet Dream Air Mix_

Naze, Koi?

Chapter Three – Mini Confrontation

He felt empty inside. He could sing, of course, and his voice did not reflect the sadness he held, but that empty feeling seemed to weigh him down. His voice would occasionally drop a notch or two, most likely unnoticed by Hiro or Suguru, but Shuichi knew that Ryuichi could probably detect it as he felt the singer watch him through the glass with Noriko and Touma behind him. Sakano was recording the whole thing with K, so the two probably hadn't noticed either. Maybe K did, because he seemed good at that, but definitely not Sakano.

Shuuichi felt a little uncomfortable singing, which was odd for him. He tried to convince himself that it was just because he had recently had shock and that it would go away. But it didn't. It was following him, plaguing him with every word he sung as he tried his hardest to sound normal. It was all right; that was what he tried telling himself. But it didn't work. Nothing worked.

And suddenly Shuuichi stopped singing, right in the middle of the song. Suddenly not hearing the vocalist like normal, Hiro's hand over his guitar strings immediately stopped and Suguru's hands over his keys paused as he glanced over to the pink-haired teenager. Shuuichi hadn't noticed he'd stopped.

"Shuuichi?" Hiro walked over and put a hand on the vocalist's shoulder.

Shuuichi blinked and snapped his head back, looking back at Hiro with a confused expression. Hiro caught the lost look in the vocalist's eyes and resisted the urge to sigh. "Are you all right?"

Shuuichi took a few moments to answer. "H-hai. I'm just... tired, I guess..."

There was a look on the Bad Luck vocalist's face that Hiro couldn't identify, but it made his eyes widen a little and he let his hand drop from the singer's shoulder. Suguru sighed, switching off the power for his synthesizer. They had been at it all morning and he'd noticed there was some things that were different this day than any other. There wasn't any joy or determination or even the slightest hint of enthusiasm today that reflected in Shuuichi's voice as he sang. And they were only an hour and a half in. He sighed again before heading towards the door.

"I'm going to get a coffee," the teen muttered as he left.

"Us, too," Hiro agreed and steered the now silent Shuuichi out of the room, despite Sakano's protests and K's threatening guns.

Ryuichi watched this from on the other side of the glass, frowning slightly. The song hadn't been good at all through the morning. Ryuichi noticed Shuuichi's voice kept going up and down, bouncing around the singer's scale, not set on his normal scale with the enthusiasm he had during concerts and alley performances. Kumaguro shifted in Ryuichi's arms and the singer turned the pink bunny to look into the screen, despite that there was no now one there to look at.

Noriko sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "He doesn't seem to have his fire today, does he?"

"It appears that way," Touma agreed lightly, but his tone was detached somehow; he wasn't paying much attention. Ryuichi glanced over, his eyes suddenly sharp and almost _glaring_ as he regarded Touma carefully, which went unnoticed as the musician looked over his own sheets of music. Noriko looked at the singer's eyes before she sighed and hopped up. "I'm going to get some coffee, too, come to think of it. Do you guys want anything little Nori can bring ya?"

Ryuichi suddenly perked up, all seriousness gone. "Oh! Cocoa! Please Noriko!? You can get that, right?" The look on the singer's face was positively _adorable_.

Noriko laughed. "All right, little Ryu-chan. Touma?"

Touma smiled, a gentle little half-smile. "No thanks, Noriko."

Noriko tapped her chin. "So a white chocolate mocha for me and a hot chocolate for little Ryu, ne?"

Ryuichi nodded enthusiastically. "Hai!"

Noriko nodded, smiled, and walked out and down the hall. As soon as the door shut behind her, Ryuichi's eyes turned serious again, narrowing and the bright blue color darkened into pools of sapphire as the orbs shifted to look back at Touma. Ryuichi's hands tightened their grip on Kumaguro in his arms. He was probably wrong, but after what had happened... "Touma?"

Said person looked up from the papers he had in his hands, sparkling teal eyes carrying their normal innocent nature – so odd how much Touma was like Ryuichi sometimes – but the look vanished as soon as he saw the look in the singer's eyes. "What is it, Ryuichi?"

The words came out easier than Ryuichi ever expected. "Why did you hurt Shuuichi?"

Teal met azure. Musician met vocalist. Complexity met enigma. A tense silence fell between them before it was shattered into ruins.

"What are you talking about?"

Ryuichi frowned. His eyes deepened, if possible. "You know what I mean, Touma."

Touma sighed. Damn. He knew Ryuichi was smart and perceptive, but figuring out things within a day was truly amazing. Touma had greatly underestimated the singer. "Ryuichi-san—"

"I knew there was something going on when you suddenly left me," Ryuichi interrupted, a slight childish tone reflecting in his voice as he tried to keep it even to express his emotion on the matter. He was sad. Extremely sad. "He was crying, Touma... _really_ crying."

Touma sighed again, putting down the sheet music on the table and he leaned forward, folding his fingers together. "This wasn't intentionally aimed at Shindo."

"But you knew he'd find out sooner or later and you still let it happen like this."

This was ironic. Normally, it was Touma who was lecturing Ryuichi, not the other way around. It was strange to hear the singer attempt to tell him he had done something wrong. Yet, Touma didn't feel as if he had done anything wrong. He felt a little bit of guilt, yes, but not at not telling Shuuichi he and Eiri had gotten together behind the scenes; rather, it was guilt over leaving Ryuichi with little word of their break-up after going on so many dates right after they reformed Nittle Grasper.

Ryuichi frowned and played with one of Kumaguro's ears. "Touma... why?"

Touma tilted his head, looking up at the vocalist. "You knew about my feelings for Eiri."

"Yes, but I'm not talking about that," Ryuichi muttered. His puerile qualities flooded back into his eyes. He wasn't angry; he could never actually _be_ angry at anyone. His eyes were sad; sadness so deep you could almost drown yourself into it, a sadness one could only see in children's eyes. By no means did that mean Ryuichi was a child. Far from it. Bu the look would always remind Touma of a lost child, a child trying to understand something that it felt involved in, a child in the darkness who just wanted to find that light of reason. This was the one look only Ryuichi could pull off; the one look that made himself practically vulnerable to other peoples' preying eyes. The look that made his emotions more bare.

The one look that always stole away every one of Touma's excuses.

The blonde gave in and leaned back in his seat. "Ryuichi, just listen to what I have to say. I had planned to tell him – or even have Eiri tell him if I couldn't – but we didn't. I don't even know why." There was an expression on Touma's face that screamed guilt and regret. "We just didn't. But understand that we didn't plan this. You know I'm not so cruel as to do something like that to Shindo."

Ryuichi frowned and his 'look' vanished as he nodded a little, remembering that yes, Touma was a human just as he was. They both had the same personality – though Touma's was slightly twisted in a sense – and while having never killed someone – as far as Ryuichi knew, anyway – and despite having the means to blackmail, Touma wouldn't do any such thing unless necessary for success financially. Ryuichi's frown deepened. Yes, he remember that now. But the situation still bugged him. He had the ability to suddenly forgive people for whatever they do, but this time around, Ryuichi didn't find himself immediately apologizing to Touma for his accusations.

"And I know about your feelings for Shindo, Ryuichi."

"It's not about me right now," Ryuichi replied, attempting to dodge the accusation.

"I beg to differ."

Ryuichi turned from serious to his normal childish self. "Awww, Touma, why do you have to be so mean!"

Before Touma could even register the change in attitude – never mind coming up with a reply – Noriko walked back into the room carrying two cups of hot liquid. Her eyes gazed across Touma's struck expression and Ryuichi, who was fake-crying while chewing on the top of Kumaguro's head, looking as cute as ever. Noriko attempted a smile, holding up the cup. "Ryu-chan, your cocoa."

"Uwaa! Thank you, Noriko!" Ryuichi took the cup and quickly took a long swig of it, grinning as he did so, the same way he did when Noriko gave him cherries. Touma shook his head and went back to his papers.

Noriko plopped back down in her chair and took a small sip of her white chocolate mocha. "So..." He let out a breath and fixed Touma and Ryuichi with her intense gaze. "What did you two talk about while I was gone?"


End file.
